Chapter 196
196 Ayla
“Dean, something is up and you need to tell me what it is? I tried to be patient but you are acting weird.” I hated being so strict with Dean.
It was just clear something was up, something that seemed to not only affect him a lot. But his job too. And it was my responsibility to make sure the pack members were okay. With not being the Luna yet, I could choose whether to handle this myself or to let Isabella deal with it. Dean was my friend, my Gemma, and it was a task I would have to take on soon anyway. In two years I would start taking over some of Isabella’s tasks. I would start with handling conflicts that would more than likely need a longer time to get settled. Both as a means of training and practicing when we still have another Luna to help me out. And to make sure that the involved parties wouldn’t be forced to tell their story, to talk about their problems to two wolves. Our pack members would be the ones who chose who they wanted to help with their issues. Taking all of that into consideration Dean would just have to deal with the fact that he was the first one I would help like this. And because of our relationship, it made more sense for me to help him too.
“I am so sorry to be doing this to you, Ayla, please don’t hate me for it” Dean went from cold and awkward to fighting back his tears.
I don’t know what unsettled me more, what I did know was that whatever this was. I wanted to help him. He acted like he had done something to wrong me already. I still trusted him though, so much so that I promised him I would not get mad with him. Let alone hate him. As he steered the car onto a road I did not recognize he told me I couldn’
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t know that. I saw he was trying to find the courage to tell me what he had done or was going to do that would upset me so.
“I don’t think I can be your Gemma anymore, Ayla I would like to still be your friend though?” He finally admitted.
I was right, I wasn’t upset with him and I would never hate somebody over something like that. I did wonder where this was coming from though, when we went to our respective homes yesterday he seemed to be happy with his new position. Telling me he would go out shopping for furniture with his parents after dinner to furnish his apartment within the castle. So him now crying he wanted to quit didn’t make any sense at all.
“I don’t hate you for it, and with me, you need to want my Gemma. meaning you can always quit if you want or need to. Jessa did not want to be my Beta or Gemma and she still is my best friend. So there is nothing for you to worry about.” He seemed to relax slightly at my words. I was not done though because I needed to know what the reason was he wanted to quit so suddenly.
“I would like to know what made you decide this in your first week. Up to yesterday, you seemed happy with your new position. To the point you went shopping for furniture.” I hoped Dean would not confuse the worry in my tone for anger or disappointment. All I wanted to do now was to make sense of it all.
“I was happy with my new position, honestly I wish I did not have to quit I would never. I honestly don’t see another way out. It was something my father told me during our shopping trip” Dean sighed and I was only feeling more confused.
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I met Rob, sure he needed a little time to accept me. He was one of our best warriors and he had trained Griffin. And seeing me what looked like stringing along Griffin to him. Did not make him like me. The reason I knew all of this was because, during that first BBQ, he had walked up to me. He had told me how he felt back then and how I had proven him wrong. He had been kind to me and vocal about his support for me from that moment on. It was Dean’s mom, Rob’s mate who had pointed the opening for a Gemma out to Dean. Rob seemed like one of the good ones. Who adored his mate and would do everything to keep her and their children happy. Him stopping Dean to have a job that made him genuinely happy made no sense.
“Well, I don’t have a mate yet as you know. And the chances of it being someone from our pack are extremely small. He would have to still not be eighteen then?” I don’t get why Dean is bringing up his mate, or his lack thereof. Still, I listen to him happy to see we are on a road I recognize. And happy to see him opening up to me. I even prompt him to tell me more.
“I know Dean, we spoke about that when you got the job right?”
“Yes, and you said you would be fine with me leaving the pack if that was what needed to happen in order for me to be with my mare right?” I nodded because I have said so. If he would have been happy I would have figured he found his mate and had to leave the Silver Moon castle behind.
But no one is this sad about meeting their mate, not when they don’t have any trauma from the past. Unless their mate rejects them at first sight but then Dean would not have to quit being my Gemma. Things still weren’t adding up.
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“It will be so much harder for you to find a new Gemma if I do, Ayla. It might even make my mate feel guilty for forcing me to quit something I love doing. To take the Queen’s Gemma from her” Dean finally admitted what was on his mind.
It was true, being my Gemma was different from being my the Gemma to another Luna of even Alpha. Like me my Beta and Gemma would have a double function. They would help me with the tasks I would need to do for our pack. They would need to help me with the task I will need to do for the kingdom too. When I appointed Dean as my new Gemma I was aware of the fact that he might need to move when he found his mate. I meant it when I said I would be fine with him moving in with his mate if he needed too. He seemed as genuine and it made me curious as to why he suddenly seemed to have so much trouble with it.
“Dad, didn’t mean to make me quit the job. He just was rambling about how he would feel in either situation. That if he was my mate he would hate to tell me I could not stay here as your Gemma. How he hoped it would not disappoint you, and if I would feel okay with that. So please tell me you see why I am doing this right? I would rather disappoint you know that having to disappoint the two of us in the
long run, when we have settled into our new routine. Especially since you are pregnant now”. Sh it how did he know, nobody was supposed to know I am pregnant.
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