AMIDST HIS FLAME
“So, you’re going back to law school, and you won’t even be going to tell mom or dad?” Alister asked as the three of us ate dinner.
It was the first time in a while that me and my two siblings ate together without any one of us rushing to a meeting or school, or even bickering. We were just calmly eating and making small talk.
I looked up at him, and I realized that he was indeed a grown up now. I nodded, and he just raised his eyebrows at me before shrugging and eating some more.
“You guys are boring,” Izzy said as she took another bite of her fried chicken, “I was usually the boring one, but by the look on both your faces, I’d say I’m the most interesting one among the three of us.” She said in a bored way.
I smiled at her silliness. She was right. Me and Alister used to be the fun and active ones even when our parents were present. Izzy was always the one on the sidelines. However, I guess the family pressure and family business took over and we all just became sort of gray.
“Sis,” Izzy called, and I looked up to see both of them looking at me curiously.
“Are you alright?” she asked me, “you just stopped eating and stared at your plate for a good ten seconds. What’s the matter?” Her voice sounded nervous, and as I met Alister’s eyes, I realized he also dropped his spoon and fork and focused on me. The tension was thick, and I just chuckled lightly.
“You two look too nervous,” I said and continued to giggle a bit before continuing to devour my food quickly.
“Well,” Alister spoke while Izzy took small bites from her food, “you’re acting weird these past few months, and Izzy and I are worried. I mean, you just told us you’re leaving without telling mom and dad, and you’re always zoning out on us. You make us worry.” He said and just looked straight at me.This text is property of Nô/velD/rama.Org.
I took a deep breath, and I looked at both of them.
“Okay, here’s the thing, guys,” I began, “I’m going to be frank and say that I’m not one hundred percent okay, but I’ll be fine.” They both looked unconvinced.
“I’m serious,” we all stopped eating, “I just need to work more on myself and make sure that I can balance law school and my personal life. The pressure inside of hat hell school is too much sometimes, but I’ll be alright.”
“I don’t believe you,” Alister said, and Izzy nodded, “but I’ll try to trust you.”
There was a silent and unspoken agreement in the air that told me my brother was being honest with me. I wanted to break down in front of them and tell them how much I wanted to give up on life, but I decided not to. I was still the oldest, and I didn’t have the liberty to be weak. I was being too weak this year, and it’s not supposed to be like that.
Dinner ended with the three of us silently going back to our rooms. I knew the two of them were worried about me, but I didn’t have time to feel pity for myself or fr anyone else. I needed to go back to law school, because being on vacation, facing stress, and being heart broken by Brixton was a bit too much for me right now. I needed to break down, and I knew going back to school was the best option. When I’m in my boarding house, I could break down as much as I want, and no one has to worry about me.
“Weakness is not what our family allows. Get rid of it, and be strong, because life won’t make it easier for the weak.” I remembered what my grandfather used to say as I drifted off to sleep.
“I’ll love you until I can’t love you anymore,” bricton said, and I sat up with tears in my eyes. It was a dream.
I looked up and saw that it was already morning, past nine in the morning. This means, my parents are now gone, and I could leave.
My phone rang as the car was going out of the house, and I looked down and saw that it was Brixton. He texted me.
“Talk to me, please,” he said in his text. A tear fell from my eye, and I quickly wiped it away. I decided to ignore the text. I was shaking as the car sped through the road. It was going to take us a few hours of travel before we arrived at my school, so I decided to ignore the beeping on my phone and Brixton’s messages. I didn’t want to break my heart more than it was at the moment.
“Shyne! My Goodness!” I looked up and saw that it was Kimmy, one of my new friends in law school. I gave her a confused look as she joined me at the cafeteria. She didn’t say a word, but she showed me her phone.
I looked at the photo, and it was the results of our grades. I paled when I saw that I lost my position at the top. I had a low grade, and if I didn’t do well this semester, I would fail. I took her phone and scrolled down. I saw that I also had low grades in three more subjects.
“Shyne, what happened?” Kimmy sounded so worried. I looked behind her and saw three more people approaching us. They were our other friends.
I grabbed my bag, and took out my phone. I wanted to check my grades and everything else for myself. As I opened my phone, I saw that there were a bunch of messages from Brixton. I ignored them and looked at my grades online.
I saw the results and grabbed my bags. I ran up to the elevator to the seventh floor, and I ran to the edge of the balcony. I cried hard. I screamed in frustration, and I knew no one could hear me, since it was still technically a holiday, and I was in the highschool building. No one was there, so I just cried my heart out as I looked down. My tears fell down as the wind started to pick up. Without thinking, I grabbed the railing and hoisted myself up to jump from the seventh floor. I closed my eyes as I felt weightlessness. My heart was now beating faster.