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Chapter 38
Chapter 38
‘‘Move.’’ Alexi pushes me forward across the parking lot aggressively, still glaring at me from the argument we had on the jet here, and I am still sulking about being dumped in my idea of Stepford Wife hell.
I haven’t slept, I look like death and my entourage of cases is being packed into the cars parked waiting for us by Alexi’s black suits. ‘’Stop pushing me, I am walking in four-inch heels and have a maximum speed setting.’’ I snap at him as I get another prod in my spine. He’s been an arsey one since we got on the plane. Moody for him, not that it’s that blatantly obvious as he has one facial setting even on a good day, but it’s in all the little tones and tiny facial changes, veiled mannerisms and the colour of his eyes that you really see what he’s feeling. You have to look really hard and study his face endlessly, otherwise you would miss it at all.
I realise it must be something I have done over the months, stare at him and watch him, because I can tell he’s pissed and in no mood to be nice while looking suave and cool in that Alexi uniform of his. The man makes a tailored suit look like everyday wear and when teamed with a black overcoat, like now, he really brings old school mafia back to life.
‘’I’ll carry you if you keep stalling.’’ He warns through gritted teeth and my frayed nerves completely snap with how much of a weighty black cloud he has been on me for the last twelve hours. I swear he has been bearing down on me ruthlessly and didn’t go to bed all fucking night, choosing to wander the apartment while making calls, typing loudly on his laptop or annoying the shit out of me anytime he heard me make a noise. The downside to co-habitation with Dracula, he hears when you are up and about and isn’t shy on walking into your bedroom to see why.
‘‘You know what? … Just back the fuck off!’’ I snap, my accent slipping to common Hackney girl and for once I don’t give a toss. I turn on him aggressively, dropping the small handheld case I am carrying and square up to that mass frame with zero shits anymore. He really has got on my last bloody nerve.
He just opens his eyes a little in sarcastic interest, amused with my female dramatics.
‘‘I am not fucking stalling okay! I am tired, emotional, exhausted even. I have been up all night and yet you insisted I put on a face and a sexy dress to fly out here and walk in shoes that are hurting my feet, on legs that just want to give out. I am done with your overbearing shitty attitude today and I don’t know how much more I can take.’’ It comes out in a great Camilla mouth vomit of things I should not say out loud to him of all people, and I know I have just given him more things to use against me.
I can feel all the glances from his men silently judging me and probably expect me to get a slap for my behaviour, yet they all just carry on as Alexi scrutinises me calmly. The storm of those restless hues of grey in his eyes; it’s an art form to exude that much anger and hatred while looking completely unaffected, but I am no longer impressed by it. Sometimes I think it would be easier if he just ended it and put me out of my misery when it comes to him.
‘‘How you ever survived on the streets as long as you did is beyond me.’’ It’s all he says. Like I didn’t just epically yell at him in front of his minions and I just blink in complete disbelief.
‘‘Believe it or not, you are more challenging than living life on the streets ever was—you make me insane.’’ I fight the urge to prod him in the chest and just pick up my bag instead, glaring hatefully and turn to continue walking at my own speed in my own time, and I jump when Alexi yanks my bag from me, relieving me of the weight and glance back warily. Content rights by NôvelDr//ama.Org.
‘’Showing weakness, no matter what it is … gets you killed or gets the people you care about killed. You’re not meant for this world.’’ He says it quietly and it has the same effect as putting water on a raging fire, everything inside of me simmers and I just feel weepy once more. It’s the highest form of insult he could have given me; he has no clue how many layers of this world I have managed to survive.
How fucking dare he!
‘’If not this world then where? I don’t belong anywhere.’’ A self-depreciating statement uttered softly and sadly that I never meant to say out loud, yet I did. It’s him and how epically out of my own persona he makes me. He just turns me inside out and I say dumb shit that should be kept in the deep recesses of my soul. Alexi just smirks at me and shakes his head.
‘‘For a moment I actually believed you, well played, London. Maybe your acts of vulnerable are far more deceiving than I first thought, but you can stop. I’m in no mood for tears and sad faces. They do nothing and we’re late, walk faster or I WILL carry you.’’ He warns, all ice and venom and I swear in moments like this I do not feel anything for him except a resounding need to stab him in his smug face. I wonder if a stiletto would make a good choice of weapon and contemplate trying. He really knows how to get my blood pumping and insides churning up like a molten pit of lava.
‘’I think I hate you.’’ I bite at him and turn to deliberately walk as slowly as I can.
‘’Mico … Lift.’’ Alexi orders over my head, and before I get a chance to even figure out what he means, I am hauled up by the arm into Mico’s space as he bends and hoists me up over his shoulder in a fluid silent movement that has me fighting him with a squeal. Futile endeavour and even I know I should give up. Mico seems like he would knock me out in a heartbeat for struggling, and he won’t disobey his master for anything.
Mico is terrifyingly solid and I am now being wench carried by a caveman, I stop struggling and just relent. He turns and starts heading at speed to our ride while Alexi walks at the rear and just raises a sarcastic smile my way, catching my eye and looking like a complete shit head, gazing at me with amusement and obviously patting himself on the back for making me furious.
The anger inside of me is unparalleled and right now, I honestly would enjoy watching him trip and falling flat on his face with smashing results. I stick my fingers up at him in the most unladylike manner and then cross my arms under my bust, levering myself to sort of sit up and plant a look of contentment
across my face. I make an awesome show of enjoying the ride. Maybe I am happy to be off my legs and carried to the car.
I won’t let him see him how much he gets to me. His thug can jog along and deposit me in the car; my feet are glad of the respite, and when I get to wherever we are going I am burning all the shoes that Carrero makes a point of insisting I wear.
Not dressing for his club anymore is going to be empowering, I will shred all my formal attire and sexy tailoring and make him eat them. I give no actual fucking shits anymore. His forms of punishment are getting borderline boring. Carrero must be losing his edge.
* * *
‘‘You don’t mingle, you don’t go out if you don’t have to and you don’t have male guests. Same rules still apply here as in the city; you belong to me and if you let any man in your bed or between your legs. I’ll put a bullet in his skull.’’ I stand admiring my nails acting nonchalant while dickhead gives me his demands in his very best soulless demon voice and I sigh, pretending to be interested. There’s only so many times you can hear the ownership speech before it starts to get dull. It doesn’t even instill a tiny flicker of fear this time, just disdain and impatience for the prick to bugger off and leave me alone.
‘’Yadda yadda. Blah blah … death, punishment, emotional torture and don’t disobey … I know the drill, Carrero. You can retire your whips and chains I’ll be almost invisible and play nice so I don’t attract attention.’’ I eye roll at him and then jump when he grabs me by the arm and yanks me with force into his torso so that I’m shaken alert and almost choke on my own saliva with the shock of being grabbed. I swear my brain just bounced around my skull.
‘‘It’s not a fucking game, I have enemies everywhere, and they have no qualms about kidnapping women. Just ask my mother if you don’t believe me.’’ He growls it at me, temper brimming and it completely quiets me, heart pounding through my chest.