Facing his feelings
Roman’s POV
“I don’t know anymore, Damien. I honestly don’t know what to do. No matter what angle I try to view it from, it just doesn’t seem right.” I rambled out as the waitress placed the bottle of whiskey on the table.
For an unknown reason, I felt guilty about doing something I didn’t even know about.
The stupid feeling bloomed within me immediately. I dropped Sofie off at the house and caught a slight glance of her eyes which were glassy with suppressed tears.
No matter how much alcohol I consumed, I just couldn’t shake the image off. It made my heart awfully heavy.
Damien waited until the waitress left before he replied, “I still don’t understand what you are trying to say, man.”
I poured a generous amount of amber alcohol into two glass cups, then slid one toward Damien who nodded before taking a sip.
“Sofie makes me feel things. Things I have never felt toward anyone in my life.”
“Things?”
“Initially, I thought it was mere pity because given the circumstances surrounding our first meeting, I thought I just wanted to protect her and keep her away from all the dangers in the world. I just realized that whatever these stupid feelings are, they are definitely not normal and I want to get rid of them, Damien.” I confessed, taking a swig of the whiskey.
Damien just chuckled, “There’s nothing wrong with your feelings for her, man. I mean, Sofie is a very beautiful woman.”
At his statement, I gripped the glass cup, so tight that I thought it’d eventually break and cut into my palm.
I didn’t want Damien or any other man calling Sofie beautiful.
I was the only person allowed to think of her in that manner.
Fuck. Getting rid of my feelings for her was going to be way harder than I thought.
“It’d be strange if you didn’t harbor any feelings for her. You know what, Roman?”
“What?”
“Do you want my candid advice? You know I won’t sugarcoat stuff for you and I’d tell you the plain truth, right?”
“Right.”
“Good. Let me first start off by telling you that you can’t get rid of your feelings for Sofie. It’s not done that way. You just have to calm down and enjoy the wonderful bliss that comes with falling in love with your own person.” As he spoke, his eyes illuminated excitedly.
Falling in love?
What the fuck was that?
I wasn’t and will never fall in love with anyone, be it Sofie or any other woman.
I didn’t love Sofie.
Right?
“Don’t get it twisted, Damien. I didn’t say I was in love with her. I don’t love her, man. I’m just intrigued by her, nothing more, so don’t say stuff like that, okay?” I huffed.
Damien shook his head as he eyed me, like I was a petulant child and he, my teacher, “Relax, man. I’m just saying. After all, I’m not living inside your heart to know whether you are telling the truth. But we both know you are lying to yourself.”
“Damien.” I gritted out, shooting a glare at him.
He raised his hands in surrender, “I’m sorry, bro. I won’t push it anymore. I’m just trying to look out for you as your best friend. There’s no need to get so defensive.”
I didn’t reply anymore and I just chugged down the remnant of the alcohol in my glass cup as I inwardly reassured myself of one thing.
I was definitely not in love with Sofie.
In lust probably, but I was positive I wasn’t in love with her.
+++
Days later, I was in my office with Nathan, assessing my schedule for the following week when my phone vibrated with an incoming call.
“Wait a minute.” I said, to which Nathan nodded before I retrieved my phone from inside my pocket to glance at the caller id.
It was Sofie.
Strange. She had never called me before.
I cleared my throat before answering the call, “Hey.”
“Roman. Nana is in the mansion right now!” Her voice sounded panicky.
My brows contorted in a perplexed frown, “Yes, she’s in the mansion which is her home. What is the problem? Did something happen to her?”
“No. You don’t understand. I mean, she is at your mansion right now. She just arrived some minutes ago.” Sofie spelt it out.
It was then realization dawned on me.
I shot up from the swivel chair, “What? Why?”
“I don’t know. She just told me that she felt caged and bored at her place, so she decided to come over to spend some time with me.” She replied.
Fuck. I didn’t want Nana meeting Sofie in my absence.
It only aggravated my anxiety. I was already walking on thin ice and in fear of my cover being blown.
“Where is she right now? Did she ask you any questions?”
“She’s in the living room, she asked Antonio to make her some porridge and no, she didn’t ask me anything. I’ll try to keep her entertained, you don’t have to worry about anything. I just called you to inform you of her arrival. I have no idea why I panicked either. You should get back to work now. I’m hanging up.” Sofie rambled out before ending the call.
I blankly stared at the dim device in my hold for some minutes before Nathan jolted me out of my reverie.
“What happened, sir?”
“Nothing. Back to the schedule, that’s settled, right?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Good. Now cancel the rest of my schedule for today. I have somewhere important to be right now.” I instructed as I shrugged on my coat.
“You are driving yourself?” Nathan uttered as I grabbed my car keys.
“Yes. I’ll be on my way now.” I muttered, to which he nodded.
“Alright, sir.”
On the drive back home, I literally flew past the road signs, only mumbling apologies to the traffic wardens.
Moments later, I got home, hopped out of the car and sprinted into the house.
“Young master, you are back so early.” Antonio observed, giving me a once over.
“Yes. Nana is in, right?”
“Yes, sir. Bu-” I didn’t wait to hear the rest of his response as I strode to the dining room.
A smile curved my lips as I settled my gaze on the sight that welcomed me; Nana and Sofie chatting away like old friends.
They didn’t even notice my presence until I cleared my throat.
Sofie tossed me a fleeting stare over her shoulder before she quietly turned back to her food.
Nana tilted her neck to look at me, “Romano. What a pleasant surprise. Come, sit. I brought something for you both.” She winked at Sofie whose cheeks flushed.
I pecked Nana’s forehead, “Okay. Let me go take a quick shower.”
After, I cupped Sofie’s jaw, flashed a smirk at her before kissing her, full on the lips, “Hey, baby.” I whispered after breaking the kiss.
“H-Hi. Work went well, I presume.” She played along.
I nodded, “Yes.”
She mirrored my action, “You should go take a bath, lunch will be ready soon.”Còntens bel0ngs to Nô(v)elDr/a/ma.Org
Nana playfully shoved me, “She’s right. Go take a shower or something, you reek of sweat.”
I just smiled at her before I trekked up the stairs to take a shower, after handing my briefcase to Antonio.
Nana obviously came for something but what could that “something” be? I found myself thinking as warm water from the showerhead trickled down my body.