My Ex-wife, My Destination

Daisy’s P. O. V.

Luke was right last night. It’s true that his touch still affects me, but I hate it. This time, I can’t let my feelings overpower me. I can’t afford to let myself get swept away by his charm again. I came on this trip for Hope, not to reconcile with my ex-husband.

I’ve worked so hard to rebuild my life without him, to find happiness and fulfilment on my terms. I can’t let myself be drawn back into the cycle of heartache and disappointment.

And how can I forgive him after the way he cheated on me? I lost myself because of him.

I lie on a lounger chair in the backyard, dressed in a two-piece white swimsuit beneath a white shirt. Hope and Luke are enjoying in the infinity pool. She is sitting on a flamingo float and splashing water on her father while giggling.

It’s getting difficult for me to resist Luke. The water cascading down his chest and the sunlight make his muscles look even more defined. Seeing his brown wet hair, I feel an urge to run my hands through it.

Control, Daisy. Control.

I try to avert my gaze, focusing instead on the novel I’m reading. But now and then, my eyes betray me, stealing glances at him involuntarily.

Why did God make him so hot?

“Mommy, you should join us,” I hear Hope’s voice and shift my gaze to her.

“Mommy is good here, Hopi. You enjoy with Daddy,” I reply.

Because Mommy can’t resist her searing hot ex-husband.

I complete the sentence in my mind.

“Mommy, please. Come,” she requests, batting her eyelashes at me.

I glance at Luke, whose gaze is fixed on me.

You can do this, Daisy. It’s not that difficult. You haven’t come on this trip just to lie down, right?

“Okay. I’m coming.” I pass a smile to Hope.

“Yippee. Daddy, now Mommy will also join us.” She squeals, throwing her arms in the air.

As I rise from the chair and pull off my shirt, Luke’s eyes glint with desire, seeing me in the swimsuit. The heat of his gaze sends a direct twitch between my thighs.

I drop the shirt on the lounger and walk over to them, trying not to look at him. But I can feel his gaze following my every move.

“Come on, Mommy, join us!” Hope gestures eagerly from her flamingo float, her eyes sparkling with excitement. She looks super cute in her pink one-piece swimsuit.

I nod at her and enter the pool before swimming over to Hope. I stand, resting my arms on the flamingo float across from Luke.

“Yippee… Mommy, Daddy, and Hopi, now we all will have fun in the pool.” She claps, and we chuckle.

“Yes…” I squeal, lifting Hope in the air, grabbing her from the waist, causing her to giggle.

As I place Hope down, Luke splashes water on us. He stops as I shoot him a glare. Then I splash water on him, laughing.

As we enjoy in the water, Luke and I catch glimpses of each other. We aren’t exchanging words, but our eyes are having their own conversation. There is a warmth in his eyes that touches the core of my heart. These days, I’m witnessing the side of Luke I used to crave in the past.

Then we have breakfast from the floating tray in the pool with a variety of mouthwatering food items on it.

I must say the family trip is going amazingly. So far.

***

“Have you ever been here before?” I ask Luke, sitting on the beach beside him, watching the sunset. The waves touch our feet as they crash onto the shore, and the gentle breeze brushes our faces. Nearby, Hope slumbers peacefully in the hammock, lulled by the soothing sounds of the ocean.

He turns his gaze towards me. “Once, when I purchased this island.”

“It’s a beautiful place,” I remark, watching the sun sink below the horizon, turning the sky into hues of orange and pink.

“You can come here whenever you want.” As he whispers, gently tucking a lock of my hair behind my ear, we lose ourselves in each other’s eyes for a few seconds, forgetting about the rest of the world.

We sit in silence for a few minutes. I watch the beautiful view, and he watches me.

I feel my heart race and my cheeks flush under his intense gaze, filled with warmth and adoration. Will somebody tell him he is driving me crazy? If he continues to look at me like this for a few seconds longer, I’ll grab his face and kiss him.

Control, Daisy. Control.

“Why did you agree to share the room with me?” He enquires, breaking the silence.

Good question!

“For Hope,” I reply, turning my gaze to him. “Her happiness matters the most to me.”

“You’re a great mother, Daisy. The way you manage work and Hope together is commendable.” He stares at me with admiration. “Hope is lucky to have you.”

“Even I’m lucky to have her.” With a smile on my face, I glance at the hammock behind us where Hope is sleeping peacefully. “You know why I named her ‘Hope’?” I ask him.

“Why?” He asks with a hint of curiosity in his eyes.

“Because after my divorce from you, I was shattered and hopeless.” I shift my eyes towards Hope. “But then she came into my life like a ray of sunshine, bringing hope and happiness back into my world.”

A soft smile spreads across my face as I think of my daughter and how she taught me to live again.

I don’t know why I shared this with him, but it happened in the heat of the moment.

His eyes fill with remorse at my words, and he lifts his hand to entwine his fingers with mine. I let him do it.

“I’m truly sorry, Daisy,” he says, his fingers filling the gaps between mine so perfectly, as if our hands belong to each other. “I know I hurt you deeply, and I can never undo the pain I caused. But I want you to know that I regret every moment of it.”

I feel a lump form in my throat as I listen to his words filled with honesty. Without saying a word, I untangle my fingers from his and sit, hugging my knees, staring straight ahead.

Deep inside, I want to believe him, to let go of the pain and anger I have been holding for so long, but I’m afraid. What if he starts behaving like a monster again in the future? I can’t give him my heart to break it again. How can I act stupid again?

***

“Yippee… Today, Hopi will sleep between Mommy and Daddy.” Hope dances on the bed, ecstatic, as Luke and I lie beside her. We smile, watching her.

“You were right, Daisy,” Luke says, looking at me. “Except homework. Nothing can tire out our daughter.”

Our daughter. It sounds good.

“I told you.” I chuckle. “Hopi, now lie down and sleep,” I order her in a serious tone.Copyright Nôv/el/Dra/ma.Org.

“No, Mommy.” She shakes her head. “Hopi is very happy. She wants to have more fun.” She squeals, jumping on the bed.

“Let her enjoy, Daisy,” Luke chimes in. “She is on vacation.”

“You’re spoiling her, Luke.” I frown at him.

Hope jumps on Luke and hugs him. “Daddy, you’re the best.”

Luke embraces Hope, answering me, “She’s my only daughter, Daisy. If I don’t spoil her, then what will I do?” He ruffles her hair and kisses it.

I never imagined I would witness moments like these, seeing Hope with her father, him spoiling her, and her admiring him. Somewhere deep down, I’m glad because Hope deserves all the happiness in the world.

As Hope dozes off in Luke’s arms, I watch them with a smile on my face.

“Thank you, Daisy,” he whispers, shifting his gaze towards me, his hand stroking Hope’s hair. “For giving me a chance to be a part of her life. For coming on this trip, and for all these precious moments.”

As he looks at me with honesty, I feel a glimmer of hope that perhaps there’s a chance for us to start anew. Certainly, not now, but maybe in the future.

“Good night, Luke,” I murmur before switching off the lamp.

“Good night, Daisy.” He turns off the lamp on his side.

It’s the first time we’re sharing a bed, and surprisingly, it feels comforting. And I can’t deny the slight flutter of butterflies in my stomach as I lie down beside Luke.

I lie on my side, facing away from him, and I can feel his gaze fixed on my back. As I close my eyes, I think about the events of the day, from enjoying the pool to sharing a quiet moment with Luke on the beach. I can’t deny that being here with them feels right, like a missing piece of the puzzle has finally been found.

***

The next morning, I wake up with a slight pain in my stomach, and what I see in the bathroom after peeing is blood.

Fuck! My period has arrived too early this time. It wasn’t supposed to come for more than a week.

I didn’t even bring any sanitary pads. How could I be so careless? What will I do now?

Shit!