Letting My Brother's Best Friend Take My V-Card (Jessie and Luke)

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JOSH

I was running around the house like a madman, double- checking every damn thing for what had to be the hundredth time. The house was open-plan, which worked in my favor, but the front entrance and backyard both had steps that needed ramps. The nurse said she'd help Laura with movement, but I didn't want her struggling more than she already had to.

I adjusted the ramp at the front door, pressing down on it to make sure it was stable, then moved inside, checking the couches to make sure they were close enough for her to transition into without too much effort. The bedroom-our bedroom-was on the ground floor, and I'd made sure the bed was set at the right height. Jess had even helped rearrange the bathroom, clearing unnecessary clutter so Laura could navigate more easily.

"Jess, do you think we should put something next to the bed? Maybe a walker?" I called out as I moved toward the kitchen, where she was stirring something on the stove.

"She has a nurse, Josh," Jess reminded me with a knowing look. "She'll tell you what Laura needs. And Laura? She's stubborn as hell. She's going to want to do more than she should."

I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck. "I just-"

The doorbell rang, cutting me off. I checked my watch, a pit forming in my stomach. It was too soon. Laura's flight had only

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just landed. Maybe they'd gotten through the airport faster than I expected?

Jess met my eyes with a shrug. "Don't look at me. I'm picking up Asha at four, as you said."

I shook my head and walked to the door, my heart pounding for reasons I couldn't quite name. When I pulled it open, my stomach dropped.

Vivien.

She stood there, dark hair tucked neatly behind her ears, her brown eyes uncertain as she shifted on her feet.

"Hey," she said softly.

"Vivien." I exhaled slowly, stepping partially out onto the porch.

There was an awkward silence, one that made my chest feel too tight. Vivien cleared her throat and leaned in slightly, as if she was going to kiss my cheek, but I pulled back instinctively. She stopped short, her face twisting for just a second before she looked at the ground.

"Josh... I-" She let out a breath, shaking her head.

"I know we need to talk. But this is bad timing. Laura is on her way here, and I need to make sure everything is ready for her." I sighed.

Vivien pressed her lips together, nodding stiffly. But then, she swallowed hard, her eyes shining

"I get it," she said quietly.

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She turned, walking back toward her car, and I exhaled a shaky breath.

What could I say? There was nothing that wouldn't hurt her.

I had spent a year convincing myself that I loved Vivien. That I could love her. She was safe-the opposite of Laura in every way. Where Laura was fierce and unpredictable, Vivien was calm and steady. She had been there when I was at my lowest, when I had given up hope, and I had clung to that. I had needed that.

But now?

Now, standing in front of her, watching her shoulders shake as she reached for her car door, I realized something painful and undeniable.

My heart was never in it.noveldrama

I had tried to force something that wasn't real.

Because the truth was, I loved Laura.

In a way no one could ever understand.

Even now, after three years, after everything, she was still the most beautiful person in the world to me. She still owned me.

And Vivien...

She had only ever been a distraction. A way to fill a hole that no one but Laura could ever fill.

Vivien suddenly turned back around and marched toward me, determination in every step. Before I could react, she grabbed 11:14

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my face and kissed me.

I froze for half a second before I gently pushed her back, my hands gripping her arms softly.

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Vivien's breath was shaky, her eyes wild as she looked up at me. "This is not over," she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. "Do you get that, Josh Saunders? We belong together. Don't you see that?"

I opened my mouth, but she cut me off, her voice rising.

"She's not herself anymore! You are not getting your wife back! She's never going to be the same, and you know it! You think you can just pick up where you left off? You think it's all going to be okay?" Her voice cracked, and she clenched her fists. "You would be happier with me. We could have a life together. A real life. A life I worked hard to get!"

I took a step back, inhaling sharply. "No, Vivien." My voice was firm, steady, even as guilt twisted in my chest. "I'm sorry, but it's clearer now than ever. I used you. To fill a void you were never meant to fill. And I am sorry for that. Truly. But I love Laura. I want a life with her- whatever that may look like. She's my wife. We have a daughter."

Vivien's expression darkened, her lips parting in disbelief before she let out a bitter laugh. "Asha thinks of me as a mother, Josh. And you know that." Her voice wavered, her hands trembling. "Are you really going to take her away from me? Are you going to destroy us?" My throat tightened.

I had let her play that role.

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I had let Asha form a bond with her.

And that was my fault.

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I stepped forward, reaching out, gripping her shoulders as gently as I could. My voice was quiet but firm. "Asha was never your daughter, Vivien."

Her face crumpled, but I kept going.

"This is my fault. I led you to believe we could have this, and I can't tell you how sorry I am for that. But I don't love you, and Asha "I exhaled sharply. "Laura is her mother. Please, try and understand."

Vivien yanked herself out of my grasp, shaking her head furiously, her jaw clenched. Her eyes were burning-angry, hurt, devastated.

She didn't say another word.

She just turned and stormed back to her car, yanking the door open and slamming it shut before speeding off down the driveway.

I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding.

And then, I turned back toward the house.

Because Laura was on her way home.

And that was all that mattered.