: Chapter 32
Lottie
“Wow, you’re learning a lot faster than I did,” Florrie said from the side of the pool where she was sitting with her feet dangling in the water. Hayley smiled at her but shook her head, no doubt knowing that Florrie was just trying to make her feel better.
Florrie was good at that – trying to make everyone feel better, looking after other people. She’d been doing it for the last month with Hayley at school as well. Ollie had been right; Florrie did rule that school, but only because she was so blooming likeable. And when she’d marched in on Hayley’s first day and announced that Hayley was her friend and just a bit quiet , none of the kids had said a word about Hayley’s lack of speech. The transformation in Hayley had been tremendous. Even though I’d known about the bullying at her old school, it was obvious that she hid the worst from me – Florrie wasn’t the only one who liked to take care of others.
So now, in her new environment, she was slowly coming out of herself. Her new teachers said that she still wasn’t talking, but I knew she spoke to Florrie, and last week she’d started to speak to the other kids at break times. Not often, but it happened. They certainly giggled together. A group of them had come over after school this week to Ollie’s house and the giggling when I listened outside Hayley’s door had been next level. I spent so long listening that Ollie eventually went in search of me, finding me with my ear pressed against Hayley’s door and happy tears tracking down my face.
“You are learning fast,” Ollie told Hayley firmly. “You’ll be a fish before you know it. Now, this time, put your whole face in, kick your legs and swim to Felix. I’m right here. You’ll be fine.” Hayley’s face set with determination as she gave him a firm nod. When she made it across the whole width of the pool with her face in the water, we all started clapping and cheering. Her head popped up, and she blinked in surprise at the attention, but despite her red cheeks, she wore a pleased smile. She high-fived a grinning Felix, and Lucy sighed from her seat next to mine.
“Felix should always be in tight swim shorts, teaching children to swim and looking like an Italian god,” Lucy said.
I laughed, but Vicky frowned in confusion.This is the property of Nô-velDrama.Org.
“Lucy, that would be extremely impractical.”
“Hello, ladies,” Mike’s deep voice came from behind us, and we swivelled to watch him strolling to the water in his own pair of tight swim shorts. Vicky squeaked. It was an actual squeak. And so un-Vicky like that both Lucy and I turned to look at her.
“Er… Vics, you okay?” I whispered. Vicky was staring at Mike with the kind of fierce focus I usually only saw her display at work when she was absorbed in her numbers. The only other time I’d seen her this focused on something was when she’d seen a hedgehog in Ollie’s garden out in the daytime (apparently that’s a bad sign with hedgehogs). She’d stayed up all night to look after it and cancelled all our meetings the next day to tend to it and take it to the local RSPCA rescue centre. Vicky really liked hedgehogs. It was almost an obsession. But then again, she really, really liked Mike. Maybe even more than hedgehogs.
Men asked Vicky out all the time. Despite her mean-spirited nickname, Ice Princess, and the mutterings I heard behind her back about her overt weirdness, she was incredibly beautiful and filthy rich. But she’d never shown even the slightest interest in any man, nothing like the interest she showed in Mike.
“Okay,” she breathed. “I can see what you’re saying. Your brother should also be restricted to these swim shorts. I can see the logic in this now.”
Lucy made a gagging sound.
“Please, no more about my brother. Honestly, Vicky, what do you see in the big lout?”
Vicky’s crush on Mike was not a secret. She didn’t try to be even slightly discreet about it. Unfortunately, Mike had also made his feelings clear, and it was a big no from him, which was disappointing. But Vics was just not moving on. One of the problems was that Mike still held a grudge against her over how his sister had been treated when she worked for Vicky and Felix. He felt that they didn’t protect her when she needed them to. What annoyed me as I watched Mike muck about with Felix and Ollie in the pool (Hayley was now sitting giggling with Florrie on the side) was that whilst Felix had been completely forgiven, Vicky was still given the cold shoulder.
“Uncle Ollie, do the thing! DO the thing!” Florrie shouted, then squealed as he plucked her off the side of the pool, lifted her high above his head and then launched her into the deep end, where she swam to Mike, stood on his shoulders and was launched into the air again.
“Want to give it a try, stowaway?” Ollie asked Hayley, who was watching Florrie with wide eyes. I knew she was scared, but my Hayley was brave. So, so brave. And she trusted Ollie. So she gave him a firm nod. When he launched her, it was only to the shallow end and much more gently than with Florrie, but it was still a massive achievement for a girl who would never even have considered putting her face under the water a few weeks ago. We’d been coming down to Little Buckingham for the last couple of weekends. Ollie said it was because the city was “too bloody hot”, but I knew he would never have left if it wasn’t for us. Hayley loved it here with the ponies and the space. She’d restarted swimming lessons in London, but the vast majority of her swimming progress was made here in the pool with Ollie. My swimming was making much slower progress, mainly because I was too embarrassed to learn in front of other people, so when I was in the pool it was just Ollie and me. The two of us alone together, half naked in warm water meant more time spent fooling around than anything else.
My attention had been on memories of fooling around so I wasn’t paying attention to the guys’ banter in the pool. But when I heard Vicky’s name and she leapt to her feet I frowned. Before I could say anything, she’d shoved one of Ollie’s huge t-shirts over her head and practically run off towards the house. Five minutes later, Mike hauled himself out of the pool, grabbed a towel and stalked off in the same direction. I made a mental note to ask Vicky about it later and considered going after her now, but then the girls’ giggling shut off abruptly, and I frowned. Florrie was focused on something behind me. “Come on, Hails,” she said, her expression now grim. “We’d better go and muck out Legolas and Bertie. We said we would.”
Hayley looked at her friend and then glanced behind us as well. Now my sister’s expression wasn’t just grim, it was furious. I turned to see Claire and Blake walking towards the pool. He had a hold of her upper arm. It could have been seen as solicitous to help her across the uneven ground. But as she winced and shook him off, I realised it was anything but. I frowned, my nails digging into my palms.
To be honest, I was really, really hoping that I was wrong about Blake. For once, I wanted my intuition to have failed me. But versions of Blake had littered my childhood; I knew exactly what he was. My mother’s boyfriends may not have had posh accents, but they were the same deal wrapped up in different packages. My childhood had gone through cycles. Mum would be sober for a few months then I’d notice the smell and her speech would change. Gradually there’d be less food in the house and more men. The men were often nice. One even bought me a McDonalds after he caught me eating frozen peas out of the freezer. But a couple were… not so nice. Luckily, I had really good instincts. I only got backhanded once when I didn’t manage to dodge, and I screamed so loudly when one came into my bedroom late at night that the neighbours came round. So I knew a bad man when I saw one. I knew the vibe they gave off, and I knew deep down that I wasn’t wrong about Blake.
By the time they reached us, Blake was all smiles and charm. Claire was reaching for her usual bubbly personality but falling short. Something had clearly happened that morning. I was glad Hayley had left with Florrie. The last thing I needed was for her to be around a man like this one. Whilst hugging Claire hello, I glanced at Blake and saw what most people would miss: the slightly bloodshot eyes, exaggerated, jerky movements and the smell. This really wasn’t something someone else would notice, especially as we were outside, but I knew that smell; I’d lived with that smell – it was like sour vinegar, and as the wind changed direction, blowing his scent across the lawn to me, I almost gagged.
Despite Mum’s perfume, no matter how many showers she took, I could always tell if she was actively drinking or hungover. Later, when she got sick, it was an almost sickly sweet smell mixed with the vinegar as she became increasingly jaundiced. The vinegar smell from Blake could just be there from a hangover, but this guy had had a few this morning – of that, I was completely sure. I moved back slightly, putting the sun lounger and small table between me and him. Blake needed to be avoided. There was no way I would ever voluntarily be within grabbing distance of a mean drunk again.
Ollie and Felix had got out of the pool now. Felix went straight to Lucy, making her squeal when he gathered her into his wet body. Ollie was clapping his brother-in-law on the back now and smiling at him. They were talking about a redesign of one of the bars that Blake was managing.
“I trust you with it now, mate,” Ollie said. “I know you won’t bugger it up.”
I pressed my lips together and looked to the side in the direction the girls had gone. They looked over at me, waved, and then darted off. Personally, I wouldn’t trust Blake as far as I could throw him. I found it strange that Ollie could be so perceptive about some things, but not this. I always thought Ollie was so different to Vicky, but I was starting to realise that blind spots when it came to reading people might be a common character trait in all three of the siblings. After all, Claire had married this guy, and apparently Florrie’s dad had also been a waste of space and barely saw her now.
It was actually Vicky, in this instance, who seemed the most perceptive. She certainly didn’t have much time for Blake. But then that may have been because he was unrelentingly crap at his job, and Vicky hated incompetence.
Margot rounded the corner then in her riding gear having clearly come from the stables and walked towards us.
I caught movement out of the corner of my eye and turned to see the girls emerging from the pool house dressed and ready to go. Florrie had pink leopard skin leggings paired with a crop top and a matching Alice band, whereas Hayley was rocking her baggy jeans and Nirvana t-shirt. They both glanced over at us, Florrie whispered something in Hayley’s ear and to my delight Hayley whispered something back. In front of everyone and not behind a closed door. I was smiling when I turned back to the others. I opened my mouth to interrupt Ollie and tell him but caught myself just in time. He was deep in conversation now. Yes, this was momentous to me, but to him… Don’t get me wrong, I knew he’d care, just not quite in the breathlessly excited way that I did. So, I bit my lip and held my tongue. Despite my joy at seeing Hayley speak to another child out in the open, I felt my chest compress. There just wasn’t anyone as invested in Hayley as me, and it felt so very, very lonely, even surrounded by people.
“I’m just going to go and check on the girls,” I said, keeping my voice low so as not to give away my excitement. There were a few muttered acknowledgements, and my chest felt even tighter. I looked down at my feet but blinked as a pair riding boots came into view in front of me. Before I could look up, my hands were grabbed and I was pulled up into a hug.
“Did you see?” Margot said, her voice breathless and excited as she swayed me side to side.
“W-what?” I asked, hugging her back automatically, even through my confusion. Maternal hugs hadn’t been a feature of my life in so long I’d forgotten how good they felt.
“Hayley and Florrie,” Margot said, pulling back to look at my face. “Hayley spoke to her. Didn’t you see it?”
“Y-yes, but I?—”
“Hayley’s speaking to Florrie? In front of everyone?” Ollie put in, abandoning his business chat to come over to us. “You saw it?”
I looked at Ollie in surprise. Margot gave my hands a squeeze again. “We both saw it.”
“Fan-bloody-tastic!” Ollie said through a wide smile. “I knew she could do it.”
“Well, I… she’s actually been speaking to her peers for a while now.” Everyone had come over to us now. Ollie blinked at me.
“She has?”
I nodded slowly as his wide smile faded to a frown.
“That’s why I was happy crying outside her room the other day. I could hear them through the door.”
“I just thought you were happy she was with her friends. Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Oh… I guess I…” I shrugged. “I guess I didn’t think it would be headline news. You guys are so busy, and I just…” Ollie was looking angry now, and he’d crossed his arms over his unfairly muscular chest, which still had some rivulets of water running down it – I wished he’d put a shirt on. It would be easier to think if he weren’t half-naked. Especially after the way he woke me up this morning. “I just didn’t think you’d be that interested or?—”
His eyes flashed as he reached for me, his arm going around my waist to pull me away from his mum. He half carried me off into the pool house, then set me down on my feet, slamming the door behind me.
“Why the fuck wouldn’t I be interested in Hayley speaking to her peers?” he snapped.
“Ollie, you’re really kind to Hayley. I can’t tell you how much we appreciate it – how much it means to us. And I know what you said before, but I also know this is still a temporary arrangement. I know you care about Hayley to a certain extent, but you don’t have to pretend to?—”
“A certain extent?” he said in a low, dangerous voice.
“Yes, well, maybe I?—”
“I want to renegotiate the terms of our deal.”
“W-what?”
“Our deal. The temporary engagement.”
“Er… what, you want to cut it shorter or something?” Pain lanced through me as I said the words, but if Ollie wanted us gone, then I guessed it was better sooner rather than later. Hayley was already way too attached. And he’d promised to honour the school fees and I believed him. My salary now was significantly higher. We would be fine. We would be better than fine. Why, then, did it feel like my heart had been ripped out of my chest and lay bleeding on the floor in front of me?
“No, Lottie,” he said, his voice edged with real irritation now as he stalked forward towards me. “I do not want to cut anything short.”
A bolt of relief flashed through me so strong my whole body sagged with it and I blew out a breath I hadn’t even realised I’d been holding.
“What I want to know,” he said as he crowded me back against the door of the pool house, “is why the fuck you immediately jump to me cutting things short and why you think I don’t care about Hayley speaking to Florrie which is a massive fucking deal.”
“You’re using the f-word a lot again,” I whispered as his arms caged me in, and he leaned his body into mine.
“Fuck right I am,” he snapped just before he kissed me. His lips were warm and firm against mine; his warmth and strength surrounded me. I could feel his muscles moving under the warm skin of his chest as I slid my hands up into his hair and opened my mouth under his. Once he’d thoroughly scrambled my brain with that kiss, he pulled back slightly to look down at me, his forehead resting against mine; one of his large hands was holding me to him at my lower back, and the other was in my hair.
Everything about the way he held me was ultra-possessive, almost caveman-like, and so the opposite of the sophisticated, urbane aristocrat that the rest of the world got to see. A wave of absolute desire and need left me feeling almost weak in his hold. My breaths were coming fast as my lips parted. It was the most turned-on I think I’d ever been in my life.
“Did it feel temporary when I fucked you in the shower this morning?” he growled. “Did it feel temporary when I told you I loved you?”
I shook my head, not trusting myself to speak.
“Good. I’ll tell Mum to start planning a wedding.”
My eyes went wide.
“B-but you don’t… I mean… you want me to marry you? For real? Now? Th-th-that’s mad.”
“You’re going to marry me, and it’s perfectly sane.” He was growling again.
“Ollie, are you proposing to me?” my voice pitched high. “If so, I wouldn’t say this is the most conventional way to do it.”
There was a pause, and then his face relaxed from his fiercely possessive expression to a wide smile, and his hand on my neck relaxed. “We’ll see.”
He brushed his lips against mine then stared down at me again. “For the moment, I’ll settle for no more talk about this being temporary – apparently, it makes me a little ragey.”
“Okay,” I said hesitantly. “If you really mean it then maybe we could ease back on the temporary chat.”
“I know I lost your trust, Lottie,” he said carefully. “But I care about you and Hayley. I don’t know why you didn’t tell me that Hayley talks to her peers. But please don’t keep things from me, okay?”
I looked up at him and could hear the sincerity in his voice. My eyes slid from his to go down and to the left. You didn’t have to be as good as me at reading body language to know I was hiding something.
“Lottie?” He was frowning at me now. “Is there something else you’re not telling me?”
I took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Your brother-in-law is an alcoholic.”
He blinked, and I held my breath. His hand at my back and the one that was now in my hair flexed as he opened his mouth and snapped it shut.
“Lottie, I… er, listen Blake drinks, but I don’t think he’s an alcoholic.” I closed my eyes slowly. Ollie didn’t realise he was doing it, but he’d withdrawn from me. Walls had gone up. He’d even shifted back slightly, putting physical space between us. His hands loosened on my back, falling to his side and the other hand went from my neck to his. I watched the muscles of his arm tighten as he squeezed. And I immediately regretted saying anything. But then I remembered Blake’s grip on Claire’s arm and her wince of pain. Ollie said I could trust him – I had to learn to trust somebody . And he’d promised . So I leaned into him, trying to close the distance he’d put between us, and I wrapped my hand around his arm.
“I know he’s an alcoholic, Ollie,” I said firmly. “And I… I just have a bad feeling about him and your sister.”
Ollie’s eyebrows went up. “A bad feeling? Lottie, you’re not giving me much to go on here.”
I sighed. “Look, if I get a bad feeling, then something is wrong. And Florrie’s in the mix. I just?—”
But Ollie was already shaking his head. He wasn’t going to believe me. “Sorry, darling, I know you have crazy good intuition, but I’ve known Blake since we were kids. Maybe his drinking is a bit out of hand – I’ll have another chat with him about it. But if you’re suggesting he’d ever hurt his family, you’re way off base. He’s been good for Claire. Her divorce was messy, and she was depressed for a long time. Blake really stepped up for her.”
“He wasn’t drinking alcohol when you were kids, Ollie,” I said, desperate to make him understand. “It changes people. Good people. I know you don’t think that?—”
“Baby, don’t you think you might be projecting here?”
“What?”
Ollie sighed, his muscles flexing as he squeezed the back of his neck again.
“Your mum,” he said softly. “I can understand why you’d be really sensitive about that kind of thing, why you’d maybe see things that aren’t there. But honestly, Blake’s fine.”
I let my head fall forward onto his chest, inhaling his scent and trying to block out my hurt feelings. I knew I didn’t have the right to feel so let down – whatever he said, I wasn’t his family. Of course, his loyalty wouldn’t lie with me.
“Yes, I’m sure you’re right,” I said, my voice flat now as I retreated mentally. There was no point arguing my case any further with Ollie. He wanted me to confide in him, but this kind of inconvenient truth was probably a step too far.
“Lottie?” He put a hand to my jaw to tilt my head back, so I was looking at him. He scanned my face, which I tried to blank of all expression. “I know you’re worried about this. I’m not minimising anything, I promise. I’ll talk to Blake. It’s just, I know him better than you.”
“Of course,” I said.
Ollie growled, and I frowned up at him.
“What?”
“I’ve lost you,” he muttered, scanning my face again. “Fuck’s sake. I had you and now you’re gone again.”
“I’m right here, you numpty.” I tried to force a smile, but by the look on Ollie’s face, I didn’t quite manage it.