Chapter 17
“I hate all of this,” I mutter, shaking my head as I look at my closet.
Glancing up, I decide the lighting isn’t right, I need a sheet over the closet like a canopy. Even at five-foot-nine, I still need a ladder to accomplish this.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m not cramping yet, and I should have a couple of days before my heat.
I should call Pack Royal.
Sighing, I wonder if this is a false alarm. They’re busy alphas. Cyrus is the CEO of a tech company, Adrain is an emergency room doctor who also teaches, and Wilhelm is a college professor. I don’t want to be a nuisance.
Walking downstairs, I go in search of a stepladder. It’s all I need to get to work on this. If I stay with Pack Royal, all of this will mean nothing, but I’m not strong enough to deny my instincts right now.
I have a date tonight, the last one of four dates. The only one that I’ve really clicked with is Pack Royal so far.
Or you could call Domh. The intrusive thought makes me stop in my tracks on the stairs and shiver. God, the things that alpha has done and could do to me makes me clamp down on a whimper.
Fuck, I do not need to be thinking sexy thoughts about him right now. I have enough on my plate as it is.
“Aisling? Are you okay?” Dad looks at me with concern. Rightly so, since I’m just standing here frozen on the stairs.
“Yeah, all good,” I murmur, forcing my feet to work again. “I actually need a stepladder. Where can I find one?”
“What else do you need?” Dad asks shrewdly. My hair is up in a messy bun, I’m wearing sweatpants and a long-sleeved shirt, and my eyes are a bit wild.
He’s right to worry. Right now, I’m just hyper fixating. I’m fine, and fairly certain I’m a few days away from my heat. Unfortunately, it’s not an exact science, which I hate. I want to be able to point to a calendar and know when it’s going to happen.
No matter what, Wren and I are still synced, even if we’re early. It’s wild. Maybe I should text her and ask her…
“Earth to Aisling,” Dad says with a smirk.
“I need push pins,” I blurt out. “If we have any white bulb Christmas lights, then I need those too.”
“I have those lights that they call fairy lights too,” Dad says. At my weird look, he shrugs. “What? My daughter is an omega, I need to have random odds and ends in this house for exactly this reason. So, Christmas lights or fairy lights?”
“You’re too good to me,” I whisper, my lip quivering. “Ah, fairy lights, please.”
“I’ll be right back,” he grunts, striding away as I watch him in shock.
This is the alpha my mother fell in love with. I can see why, because he’s attentive and loving to those that matter. Everyone else can get fucked, but it’s clear that he cares. The scary parts of Dad are in him too, I’ve just never seen them.
Could that have been why my mom left? She didn’t want all of him? I’m sad that I’ll never know. It’s not fair.
Breathing deeply, I smell the scent of leather and aged whiskey. Am I hallucinating?
I’ve been wanting to smell it for so long, that I’ve been sneaking into Dad’s liquor cabinet just to smell his whiskey. There’s one that smells exactly like the scent I’m smelling, minus the leather. It’s weirdly obsessive, but I can’t help it.
“Mine,” I whisper, turning in a circle. I’m completely by myself. I must be losing it.
Fuck, that’s exactly what I need right now.
“Okay, I’ll walk this up for you,” Dad says, striding up to me. There’s slight tension lines between his eyes that weren’t there before, making me wonder what happened.
“Thank you,” I mumble, walking back up the stairs with him.
“You’re going out tonight?” he asks.
“Yeah, I have a date,” I tell him. “I’m trying to figure out if I should cancel it and call Pack Royal.”
No one wants to hear that their daughter is scheduling a heat fuck party, so I don’t go into details. Dad is able to connect the dots.
“What if this date goes really well?” Dad asks. “I mean, it’s possible, right?”
“Maybe,” I sigh. “Half the time I think I’m losing my mind. I keep smelling things that can’t be.”
“Or, it could be intuition,” he mutters, walking into my room with me. The maids who clean my room are betas with very little scent, so it doesn’t bother me. Otherwise, I would be the over sensitive omega who insists on cleaning her own damn room.
“You know what, if I go downstairs, I may shoot Hayes. His face is pissing me off today. Can I help you, or will my scent fuck things up?”
“I think because you always stay with me when I’m sedated, it doesn’t bother me at all,” I tell him honestly. “I would love your help.”
Dad takes direction well, and never once complained when I changed my mind. Three hours later, my nest is perfect, my blankets are the way I want them, and it’s time to get ready for my date.
“I feel better, oddly enough,” I mutter.
“That’s normal,” Dad admits, stretching his arms over his head. I’m surprised no one has come looking for him. “I’m going to put away the stepladder. Are you sure you’re okay to drive?”
Peeking outside around the new curtains I asked Dad to put up today too, I nod when I see it’s not snowing.
“I’m good,” I tell him. “I feel more settled, knowing my room and nest are the way I want them.”
“We should set up the room across from here as your nest,” he grumbles. “My daughter shouldn’t be nesting in a closet, no matter how big the thing is.”
“I don’t need that much room,” I chuckle. “What’s gotten into you?”
“Nothing, it just occurred to me that you should have something better than this,” he mumbles.
“Too much space gives me anxiety,” I explain, “especially if it’s just me. This is perfect.”
“Well, when it’s not anymore, let me know,” he says, taking the stepladder and leftover push pins with him.
Shaking my head, I close and lock my door behind him. That was so odd. Walking to my bathroom, I pull off my clothes. I feel overheated right now. Maybe it’s all the exercise from redecorating my bedroom and nest.
My forehead is glistening with sweat, and I look a hot mess.
Making a face in the mirror, I pad naked to the shower. I need to shave today as well. A little extra primping is in order I think.
My thoughts are jumbled as I turn on the water and step inside, the cool sluicing liquid a relief on my skin. Ugh, this is the calm before my heat. I usually have it hit so quickly, I can’t put two thoughts together that don’t begin and end in panic.
Maybe I can handle this.
I remember the way Wren held on through her heat during our fundraiser for Omega’s Haven. She smiled, chatted with people, and if you didn’t know she was in heat, it was undetectable.
Wren even made a speech with me before I told her to leave. There’s sucking it up with grace and then martyrdom.
I keep the temperature on the coldest setting as I shower, washing my hair first. While the conditioner sits in my hair, I balance on one foot to shave my legs. My lips quirk up in amusement as I lather up the body wash after eradicating my body of hair, and I almost feel normal by the time I’m done washing all of the things, including my hair.
Humming to myself, I rub my stomach absently. I need to eat a snack before I drive to my date. It’s in a town near my house and not in Minneapolis, which I appreciate. It’s easier for me to get home this way, and the weather is calling for another snowstorm tonight.
Drying my skin, I squeeze the water out of my hair before plugging in the hair dryer. If I’m going to use hot air on my head, I want as little on skin as possible before I get dressed. I’m aware these are the thoughts of someone on the edge, but as long as I’m not in pain, I can hang on.
Soon, my hair is dry, styled, and curled. I grab a little fan, I keep in the bathroom plugged in, to cool me down. The things we do for beauty.
My skin is flushed as I lean over the fan with my eyes closed. Denial is not just a river in Egypt, but I’m going to do my damnedest to keep it together.
Shivering as the fan does its job, I continue to get ready while naked.
I’m completely comfortable with my body in the privacy of my own room. It’s mine, and I’ve lived in my skin for twenty years. Grabbing my lotion, I moisturize now that I know I’m not going to sweat it off, and then wash my hands in order to tackle my skin care.
Twenty minutes later, my eyes have a smoky brown look, my makeup is on point, and my pinky nude lip is working for me.
Grinning, I stride to my closet, pulling out a black corset top, leather skirt, and suspender style tights. If this date goes well, I don’t want to be fighting them. Not everyone is comfortable wielding a knife like some alphas.
My pussy is starting to slick whenever my thoughts turn to Domh, even when I tell her not to, so I pull out the moisture and scent wicking panties in an effort to keep the alphas I’m going to see from smelling me.
Glaring at them, I ask myself if I really want to wear them. The entire point of these dates is to be myself, and the extra padding between myself and the alphas I’m going to meet is a lie. If I’m turned on, I want them to know. If they can’t handle me horny and perfuming, then I doubt they can handle my heat either.
Tossing them back into my drawer, I pull out a pretty pair of thong panties. The technology promises that I won’t slick through them, but I’ve never had the chance to wear them.
I’m not brave enough to wear the crotchless panties that I bought with Wren online on a dare, so I’ll have to build up to it.
Wine and online shopping is always fun with her and Flynn.
Getting dressed, I find a pair of high-heeled black boots as well. I’ll have to be careful on the slick sidewalks, but I should be okay.
Setting them to the side to put on before I walk out the front door, I dig in my closet for a warm, dark blue coat to throw over my outfit. I love pops of color, and this will be mine. Moving over to my jewelry stand in my closet, I pick out a pair of pretty blue Austrian crystal stud earrings that I recently bought myself, and put them on.
Now, I’m ready to go, once I grab my knife and clutch.
Gazing at the pretty green handle, I sigh as I secure it to my tights-covered thigh. I feel really sexy, though not so much that I’ll be embarrassed to walk by my father on the way out of the house.NôvelDrama.Org copyrighted © content.
Loosely tying my coat, I grab my scarf and mittens, putting them on before I throw a few things into my clutch. Picking up my boots as I walk out of the closet, I leave my bedroom. It feels as if I’m leaving a safe space as I do, and I sigh as I look over my shoulder.
“Why can’t dates happen in fuzzy pajamas in bed with movies?” I grumble. I’m going to stop by the kitchen for a piece of Chef’s emergency chocolate, because I really don’t want to be grumpy right now.
Dropping my boots at the foot of the stairs while still being out of the way, I swing by the kitchen for my attitude adjustment. Chef whistles as I pad in on my stockinged feet, my lips parting into a wide smile.
“Why thank you,” I say with a chuckle. “I need a piece of chocolate before I go, it’s the last thing on my list.”
“Only you would have chocolate on your list,” Dad teases from the kitchen table. He’s having a cup of cappuccino, which he typically does in the afternoons.
“Chocolate is life,” Chef grunts, opening a cupboard to grab it. Opening the jar of individually wrapped heaven, he offers it to me with a wink.
“Thank you,” I say, picking out a piece and opening it. Popping the whole thing in my mouth, my eyes roll back in my head as it starts to melt. “So freaking good.”
“It’s like an omega’s religious experience,” Dad teases me. He’s not wrong, and I have never minded his teasing. It’s never had any bite to them.
Not like with Hayes.
“I detect no lies,” I say with a giggle, swallowing down my treat.
Chef fills a glass with water for me, and I thank him as I take it from him to drink it down. I’m starting to feel overheated again, which means it’s time to stand outside in the snow. That’s about the only thing that winter is good for. Otherwise, I’m ready for spring.
“Let me know if you’re not coming home tonight,” Dad says casually, making my jaw drop.
“This is what happens when you have adult children,” Chef says with a wide grin. “You have to be okay with them having an adult life.”
“Jesus, this is going to take some getting used to,” I mutter. “I’ll text you if I won’t be coming home.”
“Thank you,” Dad says, standing with his cup. “You look beautiful, my daughter. Knock them dead.”
Inclining my head, I say goodbye, walking back to my discarded boots. God, I can smell that scent again. Maybe I need a session with Dr. Alys to talk about sensory hallucinations, because I’m unsure what else this could be.
Sitting on the stairs, I pull on my boots, and declare myself as ready as I’ll ever be.
Cool air greets me as I walk out the front door, the clean scent of winter hitting me smack in the face and freezing my breath. Letting it cool me down, I pull the door closed behind me as I walk to the outside garage.
Usually, I’d have escaped directly to my car, but I need the time to compose myself and calm down.
Blowing out a breath, I shake my head as I open the garage entry door. Unlocking the SUV, I slide in, clicking the remote to open the roller doors to allow me to drive out. Getting situated, I push the engine button, pull my seatbelt on, and convince myself that I can handle this date.
Pulling the gear shift to drive, I push the accelerator pedal down to begin moving. It’s not snowing yet, though the world is covered in it.
The drive isn’t bad as I head into the small town near the house, but I’m starting to feel even more warm as time passes. Cracking the windows, I sigh as the frozen air plays in my hair and blows over my skin.
The sun is going down, there are few cars on the road, and I’m alone with my thoughts. Ugh, at this point I’m in denial, but I’ve come too far to turn around. I confirmed my date this afternoon, I have to go.
Parking once I arrive, I wince at the small cramp in my stomach. Behave, I don’t have time for you! Forcing myself to breathe, I drop my head back against my headrest and turn off the car.
I can handle a forty-five minute dinner. Then I’ll figure out what I’m going to do.
My heat shouldn’t be this early, but here we are.
Grabbing my clutch, I get out of the vehicle, slamming the door behind me as I walk. My waves are wind tossed, but still look good as my heels hit the pavement, and I toss my hair over my shoulder.
I’m already tired of dating. How do people do this for fun?
It’s exhausting.
Opening the door to the restaurant, I give Hollis’ name. She reserved the table under her, so that neither party would have any idea who they’re meeting. It’s kind of exciting, I’m just ready to be done with this all. I want a solution to my problem.
I’m conflicted because I really like Domh, but think he deserves more than what I think I’m capable of giving him. I work long hours, throw my life into helping people. Why would he want me?
The waitress weaves me through the restaurant tables, the candlelight appearing romantic now that the sun has gone down. Hollis has been choosing the restaurants, and I have to admit that she has great taste.
Every place that I’ve been to has been excellent.
I can see three men with their backs to me as the waitress walks me around, and as I inhale, I almost stumble in surprise. They smell delicious. Why do they…
I can tell immediately that two of them are biologically mine. One smells like grapefruit and raspberries, while the other smells like apple blossoms. My feet walk faster, wanting to know who is waiting for me.
Blinking, I find alphas that I know and a beta that I don’t. Their dark gazes promise fear and wonder at seeing me, and my knees threaten to buckle underneath me.
“Hey, sugar,” Domh growls. “Why don’t you sit before you fall down?”
I do exactly that as my legs feel like rubber, blinking rapidly.
“What’s going on?” I whisper. “Why do you smell like mine?”
Leaning forward, Caelin rumbles, “The truth has been right in front of you, but you haven’t been able to see it. I want to get to know you better before I taste your lips, suck on your tongue, and make you scream my name.”
“Awfully bold,” I murmur. “What if you suck in bed?”
“Considering they all regularly fuck me as well as each other, I can say that they don’t suck,” the beta says. “I’m the only one you don’t know. I’m Evan. I’ll temper the craziness of my pack, but I’m just as obsessed as they are.”
“You’re caught in our web, baby. Are you scared?” Domh asks.
“No,” I say, my body reacting to his voice with a full shiver. “God, why didn’t you say anything? I have so many questions.”
“We’ll answer them all,” Caelin murmurs. “How well do you run?”
My pussy clenches so hard my eyes roll as slick pulses out.
“What if I don’t want to run?” I whisper, biting my lip. “Would you catch me?”
Evan moves at lightning speed, cupping my face to kiss my lips. Well, devour them.
“Is it too soon to tell you I want to fill your holes until you’re overflowing? I want you to remember us every time you move,” he grunts. “I love a good hunt, and tracking down the only omega I’ll ever want seems like a good enough reason to do it.”
I have no idea what to say. I’ve never been spoken to like this before. Is it okay if I want more?