Chapter 35 Accepting My Feelings
Alexander’s P. O. V.
Fuck! I want her in my room right now because I miss her and want to take care of her. She’s having periods, but her punishment hasn’t ended. She must sleep in my room.
“Did you forget about your punishment, kitten?” I ask, a sly grin spreading across my face.
Great! I have a perfect excuse to summon her to my room.
“I remember my punishment, but I can’t come.” She responds in an apologetic tone.
How do I tell her I’m calling her because I want to take care of her?
“No worries. Just like last night, I’ll carry you to my room, and after your period, you will face the consequences of not obeying my orders.” I tell her, a smirk tugging at the corners of my lips.
“Such an evil Master he is.” She mutters to herself, momentarily forgetting that she’s still on the call with me.
“What did you just say?” I inquire.
“Nothing. See you tonight, Master.” As she hangs up, I chuckle.
But then I remember who I am.
I am the DOMINEERING BILLIONAIRE. The one who sets the rules and expects obedience without question.
She dared to disconnect my call, and instead of being furious, I laughed.
She’s definitely changing me, but I won’t allow it to happen. No matter what, she can’t behave like this with me.
I call her again, and she answers after just one ring.
“Hello!”
“You cut my call without my permission, Alice! You’re continuously disobeying me.” As I reprimand her, my frown deepens.
“I’m sorry, Master!” She apologises to me in an instant, realising her mistake.
“Sorry, that won’t work. You will pay for this.” I smirk.
“Make a list and after my period, punish me.” She retorts, irked.
“You have no right to tell me what I should do, kitten. You’ll get the punishment right now.” I assert in a stern tone.
“What? You’ll punish me during my period?” She questions, fear laced in her voice, and I feel a pang of guilt for scaring her.
Although I still want to keep her under my control, I don’t want to make her feel frightened.
“Yes. I’m your Master, and I can do anything.” I answer in a firm tone, keeping my thoughts aside. “You can’t disconnect my call until I come to your room. This is your punishment.”
The sound of her sigh reaches my ears through the phone. “Okay, Master.” She responds.
I place the phone on the table and turn my attention to my laptop.
“These cramps are killing me. What should I do, Jesus?” After a while, I hear her complaining to God about the cramps, drawing my attention back to the phone.
“Instead of complaining to God, why don’t you take some medicine, Alice?” I suggest.Copyright Nôv/el/Dra/ma.Org.
“I’ve run out of medicine, and I can’t go buy more.” She explains, irritation laced in her voice.
An urge to rush back home with the medicine for her washes over me, but I can’t let my true feelings come out.
“Ask your friend ‘Mia’ to go.” I advise.
“She is not at home.”
After knowing this, I text my driver to deliver the medicine to Alice.
“Now stay quiet and let me focus on my work.” I order her, keeping my voice serious.
“Am I not even allowed to cry if it’s hurting me?” She questions, clearly annoyed.
She is experiencing a lot of discomfort and pain because of her menstrual cycle. However, why am I bothered? I am her Master, and I am fulfilling my duty by delivering the medicine to her. Shouldn’t that be enough?
“No, you can’t even cry without my permission.” I respond to her in a sharp tone.
“Master, you are- “She starts but hesitates.
“What am I, Alice?” I inquire, relishing conversing with her.
“Nothing! I apologise for disturbing you. Carry on with your work.” She apologizes, her voice tinged with anger.
I shake my head and turn my attention to the laptop.
As I focus on my work, my mind keeps drifting back to Alice. Her frustration and discomfort during her period bother me more than I care to admit. I try to push those thoughts aside, reminding myself of my dominant role as her Master. Her pain shouldn’t affect me because I should be the one inflicting it. But to be honest, she’s changing me, causing me to question my desires and actions.
I type on my keyboard, absentminded, unable to concentrate. I’m torn between maintaining control and genuinely caring for Alice’s well-being. She disrupted my life and made me feel emotions I never knew existed, and a part of me resents her for it. But another part of me appreciates the way she challenges my dominance, forcing me to confront my own emotions.
The sound of her voice complaining about the pain reaches my ears, and I imagine myself being there for her, offering comfort and solace. The constant tug-of-war between my dominant persona and my emerging empathy intensifies, driving me crazy.
Then I hear a knock on her door through the phone. It must be my driver arriving with the medicine. I let out a sigh because finally, she will find some relief.
I eavesdrop on her conversation with my driver.
“Alexander Sir has sent the medicine and a heating pad for you.”
“Thank you.” She thanks my driver in a polite tone.
She is always so kind and polite with everyone, while I’m a devil, the polar opposite of her.
“Thank you so much, Master. Why didn’t you tell me you were sending medicine for me?” A smile flashes on my face as I listen to her cheerful voice.
“Don’t get too happy. I only did it because I want my submissive to be in good health to endure my punishments.” I respond, trying to suppress the satisfaction I feel from her joy.
“Whatever! I’m happy.” She answers me with glee.
***
After completing my work, I return home and head straight to Alice’s room. I have been longing to see her ever since she told me she wasn’t feeling well.
I raise my hand to knock on the door, but pause as a thought crosses my mind: Why should I knock?
I shrug my shoulders before pushing the door open.
“Hello, Master.” She waves at me, approaching me, a pretty smile adorning her face.
I let out a sigh because she seems to be fine now.
“You look fine now. So come to meet me at the same time.” I state, maintaining my Master image.
“Yes, I’m absolutely fine, thanks to you, Master.” She responds, beaming.
I nod. “Good. So see you after a while.” I leave the room, putting aside my urge to stay with her.
***
I step out of the bathroom and find Alice arranging her mattress on the floor.
“Sleep on the bed, Alice.” I order her in a stern tone, catching her attention.
She stands in front of me. “I don’t mind sleeping on the floor, Master. I noticed last night that you couldn’t fit on the sofa, so you should sleep in the bed.” She suggests, her voice laced with a genuine care for me, and I just stare at her in utter disbelief.
How can she keep thinking about my comfort when all I do is hurt her? Who wouldn’t develop feelings for someone like her?
“I am your Master, Alice. Do as I say without arguing.” I assert, my voice filled with seriousness.
She glances at the sofa. “But, Master how will you-”
“Alice, do you want me to punish you for not listening to me?” I interrupt her.
Shaking her head, she slumps onto the bed and covers herself from head to toe in the comforter.
A chuckle emits from the mouth. “How can she be so adorable?” I murmur, shaking my head in disbelief.
I sit on the sofa and take a puff of my cigarette, my gaze fixed on her. She drags the comforter down from her face, and as her eyes meet mine, she quickly closes them.
I laugh at her adorableness.
After a while, I try to sleep on the sofa but find it uncomfortable. Last night also, I couldn’t sleep properly.
‘Why am I preventing myself from sleeping beside her when all I want is to be close to her? Why am I evading my genuine emotions? If being with her feels so right and she’s changing me for the better, then why fucking can’t I accept it?’ I question myself.
‘Love makes a person weak, and I was born to rule the world. If I fall in love and become weak, how will I maintain my dominion? That’s why I’m running away from my true feelings.’ I answer myself.
However, now I’m exhausted from running away and pretending to be the person I was before because I’ve changed. I can’t hurt my Alice any longer. A pure soul like hers doesn’t deserve the pain I’ve inflicted upon her.
Accepting my feelings, I walk over to the bed and lie down on my side, facing her, and drift off to sleep in an instant while admiring her angelic face.
I sleep with my submissive, breaking my rules myself. However, now I no longer care about any of the fucking rules I made before meeting this pure soul. I have realised that she doesn’t deserve any of the pain that I have inflicted upon her.