Camera Shy (Lessons in Love Book 1)

“Will you please hurry up?”

I feel Finn’s light breathy chuckle against my neck. My shirt is off and tossed aside. I’m shivering, but it has nothing to do with the temperature in the closet. Why did I agree to this? What was I thinking? The mirror is taunting me with every loose, wobbly part of my torso. I want to run and hide—but I can’t. Finn’s large body is behind me, steadying me, locking me in place. There’s no retreat.

“What did I tell you about talking?” he grumbles from behind me.

“But you’re moving at a snail’s pace.” I wish he’d just undress me already. Rip it off, like a Band-Aid. Maybe it’ll be less painful that way.

“Yeah, Avery. That’s what you do when you’re savoring something…” He blows on my naked shoulder, causing a sea of goose bumps to pebble my skin. “You…go…slow,” he whispers into my ear.

In this moment, I understand three very important things.

One, Finn is very good at this. He’s overwhelmingly sensual. He’s taking my literal worst nightmare and somehow making it sexy. Enjoyable, even.

Two, Finn knows exactly what he’s doing to me. Every time I shudder and flinch, he smiles. Just moments ago, when his fingers grazed across my belly and chest as he pulled off my T-shirt, I nearly lost composure. When he rubbed the back of my bare arms to warm me up in an already sweltering room, I wanted to scream.

Three, and probably the most shocking revelation is…

Finn likes this.

This man must be desperate, blind, or high as a kite, because he’s looking at me like I’m the first woman he’s ever laid eyes on. Like I’m a prize he’s won.

My gulp is audible as he pulls my left bra strap down over my shoulder.

“Breathe,” he instructs, “and keep your eyes on the mirror.” He pulls down the right. “Let me explain what I see.”

I’m fear frozen. My limbs no longer answer the alarming commands from my brain.

I give myself major credit for at least giving this a try. I’m not the girl who wants to beg her cheating ex to take her back. I’m also not the girl who knows how to throw my ex the bird and seduce the hottest guy in the bar for rebound sex. I’m something in-between. This. Finn touching me and talking me through this seems in-between.

He unclasps my bra and it falls to the floor. My heavy breasts drop an inch. My mind whirls and I immediately attack myself mentally with criticisms. My breasts aren’t perky enough, my waist isn’t slim enough, my skin isn’t taut and tight, and my hips are too wide. The silver lines against my skin from puberty where my body grew too fast mock me. You’re marked.

Maura is flawless. I bet her skin has never overstretched a day in her life.

I am marked. I am—

“Goddamn,” Finn says, interrupting my silently spoken assault. Watching his eyes through the mirror, I see they’re bouncing between my breasts. “Your tits are unbelievable.”

“You’re just—”

“Ah, ah. Hush.” He clasps his large hands around my shoulders. “Your breasts are perfection. They are full in all the right places and your nipples are my favorite shade of brown. So sexy. Thank God you’re not a client, Avery. These tits would make me act unprofessional in the studio. We wouldn’t want that, would we?”

I meet his eyes in the mirror. “Finn, did you just ask me another question I’m not allowed to answer?”

“Smart-ass.” He smirks.

“I really like your smile,” I say. The words fall out before I can stop them. He smiles wider, his perfect teeth and deep dimples on display in the mirror. The nerves begin to settle and I suddenly have the urge to reach behind me and feel his stubble. It’s clear Finn shaved this morning, but by nine at night, his five o’clock shadow is tempting. I bet it feels like ultra-fine sandpaper. Not enough to scratch me, but just enough to agitate my skin until it’s sensitive. It’d heighten my senses and make my skin so tender to his touch. I wonder how his cheek would feel against my thigh.

I wonder if Finn does that. Maybe he likes what Mason hates. He’s certainly looking at me in a way Mason never did.

“I really like your smile too,” he replies. He winks into the mirror. “And your tits.” Reaching around my body again, Finn trails his thumbnail between my breasts and down my stomach before he sinks his thumb into my belly button. My knees buckle, but I don’t fall because he immediately wraps his other arm around my ribs, securing me. “Whoops, you’re really ticklish. Sorry. Couldn’t help myself. I’m a sucker for innies.”

I would laugh at his playfulness, but at the moment nothing is funny. By some miracle, I am standing in just my underwear in front of the floor-to-ceiling mirror. The lighting is wildly unflattering. The man behind me may be the best-looking human being on the planet and somehow…

I’m okay.

More than okay.

I am so turned on.

I suck in a deep breath, watching my chest expand and rise. I find my courage and say as firmly as I can, “Finn—”

“Hush, Avery.” His eyes snap to mine as he raises one brow.

“This is the last thing I’ll say, I promise.”

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“I’m nervous but don’t let me stop. Undress me all the way. I can handle it.”

As he slowly wets his lips, I’m certain my body catches on fire. “I was going to leave your underwear on. Your period and all.”

I allow my cheeks to flush crimson red. Ah, who the fuck cares? We’ve made it this far. “You’re just looking, not touching. Does it bother you?”

“Not at all. I just didn’t want you to be too uncomfortable.”

I scowl at him. Uncomfortable? We’re so far past uncomfortable. We’re at throw caution to the wind and let’s see what the hell happens.

I blow out a shaky breath, feeling bolder by the second. I ride the wave of my bravery before it’s too late. “Take off my underwear. Tell me what else you see that you like.” Lie if you have to.

Finn nods and squeezes my hip bone. His fingers tease the waistline of my black cotton panties. He has a sexy Midas touch apparently. There’s nothing impressive about this pair of plain bikini-style underwear. But now that he’s touching it, it’s the sexiest article of clothing I own.

Finn traces my panty line back and forth, teasing me as he talks directly into my ear. “Avery, listen to me. You’re beautiful. You’re worthy. Don’t you dare let any man treat you like garbage. Don’t let any man tell you you’re lacking. If he doesn’t see you as sexy, he’s not using his eyes.” He hooks his finger around my chin and guides my view so I’m looking into my own eyes. “But confidence starts with you. A man is going to treat you how you treat yourself. So please, for the love of God, act like a fucking queen.”

Everything is wet.

I’m turned on. I’m teary-eyed. This is the most intimate I’ve been with another human being in my life. I want him. Stupid fucking period…ruining everything. Maybe he doesn’t mind—

“I have to stop here.” He drops his hand, leaving my panties securely around my hips, and steps backward. Suddenly, my wall of support is gone and I’m holding my own weight.

I spin around in a huff to face him. “What?” My wide eyes must look accusing because he raises his hands in surrender like he’s trying to calm a wild animal he provoked.

“It’s been way more than five minutes, and I can’t go any further without getting carried away. So…I should go.”

He’s not technically rejecting me. I didn’t offer. But shame rears its ugly head anyway, and the confident woman from two minutes before exits the stage. We’re back to the same ol’ Avery. Unsure…embarrassed…scared.

“Okay, I understand,” I say, crossing my arms over my bare chest, covering my nakedness as best as I can. “Good night then.”

He takes a few steps toward the closet entry. He stops, then spins around. “Hey, I have a long run planned for tomorrow morning. Eight miles at least.”

“Uh, okay,” I sass. This man is fucking crazy if he’s inviting me to run eight miles with him. “Have a good run.”

His shoulders shake as he laughs, understanding my sentiment. “What I mean is I’ll probably need the hot tub after. Say around eight?” He points to me. “This is either your warning to avoid me or your invitation to join me. Whatever you choose. Good night, Avery.”

With that, he’s gone.

He leaves me with a clear choice.

Did I like what just happened? Or is this man who is way out of my league and much too tempting, a dangerous choice in my life right now? Finn has unrequited love written all over him, and I’d be an idiot to let myself go there. But then again…

The way he was just looking at me in the mirror…

The way he made me feel about myself…

I think I’m standing at least an inch taller at the moment. I’ve never met a man in my life who treats a woman that way. Finn has the answers to a lot of questions on my mind. Questions I only have one summer to answer before reality punches back.

So it’s easy to make my choice.

I need to buy a swimsuit.